Spell UNFAIR…

these past few days has been the hardest for us Filipinos.. anger and sadness is felt just about anywhere.. i have been involved with campaigns to promote the philippine tourism & needless to say i’m one of those devastated when the hijacking of hong kong nationals happened. now we’re back to square one and all the efforts utilized to promote the philippines is wasted but this sentiment is beyond the point now. i guess every Filipino is heart-broken for what have happened the other day. but what is truly heart-breaking are the comments & reactions of people from different nations and from that of the chinese people. i understand that they are angry & frustrated because eight of their own people were dead and the killer is a Filipino but don’t you think its way below the belt to view it as the fault of one is the fault of many? that because the killer is a Filipino that you’ll view all of us as such? to tell us that we’re insensitive bastards and we feel no remorse for what has transpired the other day? that our president is not sincere in asking for forgiveness, saying countless apologies, & begging for understanding just because you caught him smiling while looking at the crime scene? please, i’m begging you people to cut us some slack and give us a break…

i’m not belittling what happened to those who were killed by Mr. Mendoza and i am terribly sorry about it. i feel for those who have lost their loved ones coz i’ve been through that exact same thing when I lost my grandfather who is a policeman in a robbery assault and when my cousin was killed by a bullet shot point-blank on his head and i know that something as brutal as that will be hard to forgive and forget but it was just so unfair of you to think so much ill of us… it’ll be UNFAIR for those Filipinos working abroad – in your household – just to feed their families here in the Philippines who got fired because their employers got pissed off… two Filipina DH reported to the Philippine embassy in Hong Kong that they were fired because their employers were totally pissed and one even said she had to beg, kneel and bow down her head, pleading that she maybe spared because she has a family to feed… it’ll be UNFAIR for those Filipinos who work hard keeping your house clean & tidy, cooking your meals, cleaning the bathroom, assisting you and your kids, treating you like our own kin to be harassed and called by different insulting names… it’ll be UNFAIR for those Filipinos working in a company in your foreign land, contributing to the revenue and sharing his/her ideas for your company to be insulted and trampled with your rubbish… it’ll be UNFAIR for those Filipinos who were also exploited in foreign lands, killed through accident or by intention by foreigners or those who have experienced terrible situations that put their lives in jeopardy like the innocent Filipino family strolling in a market in Hong Kong who got splashed with acid by lunatic and it was later on proven that the perpetrator is a Hong Kong national… it’ll be UNFAIR to those Filipinos who have experienced RACISM at its finest to be called insensitive & imbiciles by those racist people who have exploited them… it’ll be UNFAIR to those Filipinos working in your hospitals saving the lives of your people or to those working in your schools teaching and molding your kids, imparting their knowledge the best that they could… it’ll be UNFAIR to those Filipinos who got raped by foreigners, stripping them off of their dignity as human beings… now more than ever, we Filipinos around the world are fearing for our lives because of the threats you throw at us and given a choice, we will not leave our country just to work for you and put our lives in danger… we would have opted to work here & serve our own, be with our own…

i can go on and on with the list of maltreatment against us. this page may not be enough to list everything thrown at us… i think we’ve had enough, we’ve gone through  a lot in the foreigners’ hands and have endured a lot of racism from them and these protests, this calling of insulting names, these campaigns againts us is way too much… it’s too much to ask from people who have suffered in your hands… we are begging for your forgiveness & a countless times said our apologies & acknowledge our faults and yet it is apparent that we are not heard and you will never listen…

its just sad that it has to come to this… nobody wanted that bloody ending in the hostage crisis and nobody in this nation wished any ill towards foreigners who visit our land… i just hope that Filipinos will be able to pull through this tough times.. and that our president is strong enough to withstand this… i am praying that every Filipino around the world may be safe from any inhumane acts against them… God, please help & guide us… may our strength and resilience endure everything… may our loving and caring spirit remain and be not broken… may the fire of hope remain with us that after this storm, there’ll be a better and brighter tomorrow…

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pushing myself to the limits…

I’m trying so hard to control my hunger… Sometimes it feels like I’m going through hell, sitting with a bunch of people eating…. And sometimes it feels like any moment, my hunger will come out like the monster it once has been & would kill just to feed… Everyday is a constant struggle & I need to summon every ounce of my strength to keep me from eating…

Sounds familiar? I know right…. Sounds like a line said by Stefan Salvatore of Vampire Diaries or Edward Cullen of Twilight but nah, its just me… All me… =P

About 2 months ago I started running & went into diet mode so I’d shed weight… Running’s not that much struggle although there are days that I’m so not into it but I go through it just fine. However, carving out my diet proves to be the hardest thing to do! Now I can relate to Edward Cullen & Stefan Salvatore, 2 famous vampire characters who refuses to feed on human blood & opted to drink blood from animals because they didn’t want to be a monster they were once… I’m really trying hard too, to contain & control that monster called hunger & every minute that passes, I feel like I’m about to lose control… May God help me… hayyysss… ='(

silence…

its been a while since i last posted my entry here in wordpress… now wordpress, tell me… does the future holds something for the two of us??? haha! too much drama! =) sorry… this is what i get from spending so much time watching telenovelas & vampire diaries… but what else can i do? i spent such a loser weekend & was stuck at the house, and at the mercy of the DVD player… so i gave in… hehehe… =P

today i visited the blog site of my eternal crush, Gino Quillamor… and for the first time in months… i am disappointed… he hadn’t post anything since last june… ='( why so silent? writer’s block? i miss him and the rantings of his demented mind… hope to see him writing again soon… i guess he’s too busy playing Star Craft 2… hehehe… =)

so what else is new to me??? nothing… life is just as silent as the night… now i’m gettin’ bored and is in dire need of something else… how about gettin’ into a relationship or something… well at least it’ll be good enough to transform me into a pathetic suicidal baffoon… erase that last thought…

just random thoughts crossing my mind… =)