healthy schedule!!!

going to UP again today to run… Q.C Circle early morning tomorrow, at 6am for a session of taebo & running again… this definitely is a 180 degrees turn of my lifestyle… no more pigging around!!! =) go! run! and have fun!!! =)

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If you’ll just believe…

“Don’t stop believing…” Mr. Schuester said this phrase I think about almost a hundred times in GLEE… he wanted the GLEE kids to believe in themselves and believe that whatever dreams they may have, it’ll come true.

Last night, GLEE fans all over the Philippines tuned into their television to watch the season finale of the show. And I should say, the cast & crew of GLEE didn’t disappoint their fans. the finale was definitely a blast! =)

So if you weren’t able to watch, here’s what you missed: Finally it’s regionals and New Directions will be performing songs that will tell the story of their “journey” as members of the Glee Club, then the day of regionals came and the GLEE kids gave the performance their best shot but to no avail, they didn’t win… and much to their frustration, they didn’t even place second and their arch-nemesis Vocal Adrenaline won and became the champion and then Quinn gave birth to a healthy baby girl… so that’s what you missed on GLEE’s season finale… =)

it would have been just another teeny-bopper series but then again GLEE is much, much more than that… I dare say that every episode is very much inspiring and emotionally moving, especially this season finale. real-life stories and characters, i think is the charm of the show. it gained fans and popularity because the characters and the plot of every episode is something that is very much close to what is happening in real life so naturally, we all can relate to it and that makes it close to our hearts.

so here i am, inspired to write about what i learned from season finale. as much as you want life to be perfect, it isn’t… as much as you want everything to be fair, hasn’t anyone told you that life is not fair? as much as you want life to be just full of happy smiles and nice people, it’s not and will never be… there will always come a time when you’ll trampled and pushed by unfortunate events & annoying, devilish people around you.. you’re bound to fail (most of the time) and people will tell & show you, no make that rub on your face how useless you are, an imbicile among them.. you’re not perfect & you’ll never be, you’re fat, you have like thousand gallons or whatever of cellulites in your body, you look like you’re the long lost twin of a zombie in zombieland and people will laugh at you because of those imperfections.. but hey, you don’t need to be angry, or weep, or just stay on the ground when they pushed you. the GLEE kids, their life is far from perfect: Finn, a super jock, popular, good-looking but grew up without his dad and is in dire need of someone to look up to and be his role model of how to be a man, Rachel, sure she can sing, a power-belter in fact when it comes to reaching the highest of all notes, she also is pretty (but sometimes overly obnoxious) but she didn’t grew up with her biological parents. She didn’t knew them in fact thus there’s a missing piece in her being. Quinn, she’s pretty, popular as her ex-BF Finn but she has parents who can’t understand her and then she got knocked up by a sorry ass-loser Puck and got her pregnant. Now all her fame & glory is a thing of the past, she’s now known as the “irresponsible girl who bent down, got a good fuck then got pregnant by a nobody.. Puck, who’s strolling junior high in bravado, throwing kids in trash cans because he thought it’s the coolest thing in the whole world but when he loses his mohawk, he’s not that scary anymore, not to even mention how can he take pride on the wrong things he has done out of idiocy.. Mercedes, yes she’s another power-belter when it comes to singing but then again who wants a black girl? nobody, nobody wants a black girl even if she’s good at singing.. then there’s artie, a guy full of dreams in life but lacks the feet that will give him the ability to walk and do the stuff that he wants to, he’s crippled forever and there’s no way he’s going to walk again.. but what do these kids have in common aside from all these mishaps in their life? HOPE.. they may not be the luckiest people on earth but there’s this enormous hope in their hearts that one day, they’ll be able to conquer whatever problems they may have. hope is what fuels their soul to go on and continue singing through life.. THEY BELIEVE IN THEMSELVES, in their abilities and the things that they can do. People may look down on them and tag them as sorry loosers but they never ever cease to believe in themselves and believe that they can do things way beyond what they’re really capable of. they constantly push themselves to learn and excel in the things that they do, to deliver what is expected of them and more. and i guess it also helps that there is one constant person who believes in them and that’s Mr. Schuester. If this one person believes in you, in what you can do, so why can’t you believe in yourself and stop doubting your abilities? Last is they DREAM.. they all dream endlessly.. they aren’t just content with what they have, they’re aiming big! they’re going out of their comfort zones to follow that dream and for me, it’s the bravest thing you can do to get what you want and what you deserve in life..

i guess it all goes down to believing in yourself no matter what.. never lose that tiny bit of hope there is in your heart and dream big and make it into reality.. you can’t let anyone get to you, in your head and tell you that you’re not good, you’re nothing but a second rate, trying hard imbicile… you can’t allow that… only you, yourself (and no one for that matter) is allowed to say that you’re not good enough, other people, they simply don’t have the right (damn them to hell).. you maybe stuck in the darkness and eternal rutt but just remember to turn on the light.. that ray of light – hope – in you coz in the face of darkness, internal conflicts, and animosity (not to mention the pigheadedness of the people around you), hope is a powerful ally. in the most abysmal darkness of being a loser in life, this hope shines a light, however dim, to help you keep going, even if it’s just a day at a time, in the hope that better days lay ahead… so dream big, aim high, and never stop believing in yourself… =)

learned a lot from GLEE and looking forward to the next season… keep us inspired! =)

Pinoy Big Brother Teen Clash of 2010

I was never a fan of Big Brother here in the Philippines but just lately, curiosity got the better of me so I decided to watch… and found out that life inside Kuya’s (Big Brother’s) house is very amusing, intriguing, and entertaining at the same time… As the title connotes, current housemates are composed of talented and cute teens from all parts of the Philippines and across other countries as well (we have the teenternationals). I’ll just mention  a few of them whom I’ve came to know while watching PBB this past days – we have Ivan, Fretzie, Tricia, and Devon – belongs to the Pinoy Teens group. Then we have Bret, Jenny, Anne, Ryan, and James – they belong to the teenternationals group. I can’t remember each and everyone of them but if you’d like to know more about them and the rest of the housemates who got evicted already, you may visit http://teens3.pinoybigbrother.com/News.aspx or http://abs-cbn.com or you may google the official multiply site of Pinoy Big Brother… =)

It was too obvious that these kids wanted a shot at stardom. Meaning, most of them are genetically gifted. TRANSLATION: Most are good-looking… And yes, they act a bit out of character so people will notice they’re there. It’s a bit annoying really but can’t blame them, this is there one-way ticket to fame so might as well do everything there is to stand out from the crowd so to speak. What’s another thing that is annoying about them, they’re all “pa-cute” meaning all are trying their very best to project themselves on the camera, sometimes it’s way over the top already – in other words – OA na! But really, when you’re stuck in one big house with nothing to do, you’ll be sucked up to doing something nonsense like making pa-cute or making fun and a total idiot of yourself.

but then things change when you get to know the character behind every name. You get to understand where they’re coming from because of their life stories, now you’ll know why they’re acting that way. I particularly like two of the teen housemates – Ivan and Ryan. Ryan is pure korean but he lives here in the Philippines. He’s funny and full of humor, the one trait that I like about him. He always have a reason to laugh at anything. Sometimes he can make people laugh by doing nothing at all (nakaktawa kasi mukha nya eh!). He takes life a little less serious. On the other hand, Ivan is the more serious one. OC (obssesive-compulsive) on almost all things, he wanted order to everything. He owns the most clean and managed cabinet. Aside from being OC, he’s also charming, good-looking, or gwapo in tagalog. He’s one of the “genetically-gifted” among the batch. I like him because he has the same name with my ex-love of my life and…… i can see myself in him…… the loner type, not talking much, keeps to him/herself, would rather sit and read or something rather than mingle with crowd, has obssesive-compulsive disorder, favors order and management on almost everything, the good son… He’s so me!!! So naturally i gravitate towards him… 

hay now I wish i’m 16 again… i wish to go back to my younger years, never getting old, where everything is plain and as simple as passing your exams to get a grade of 85… just simply enjoying life. I have to admit, though I’m already 20 something now, I feel I am stuck at age 16… the way I think, the way I move, from decisions in life, everything, i feel like I’m still 16 years old. I still enjoy video games, anime, cartoons, teeny-boppers shows, twilight, anything teen… hehehe… I guess for some, it’s too embarassing to admit but for me I love being a child or a teen again… life is way simple back those glory days… *sigh… wish i can go back in time and be a kid again… or better if i’ll be 16 forever… hehehehe… speaking of “peter pan” syndrome. =)

the art of saying goodbye

the hardest thing for me to do is to say goodbye… saying goodbye to anyone; a friend, a relative, a family member, even to my worst enemy… basta, you get the picture, i’m not one of those people who can just say “bye” turn their backs and go… so now while i’m at it, i decided to write and try to decipher “again” how to say your goodbyes coz in the days to come, i’ll be saying the word once again and maybe will be using it again on the months to come… ergo, i definitely have to learn how to say it, without breaking anyone elses heart or mine…

they say that nothing is permanent in this world other than change of course… so by changing & constantly evolving, we’re saying goodbyes to old ways, people, things, or anything that belongs to our past. we do this so we can move on without baggages. that “moving on” part to accomodate change, that, I understand perfectly. at one point in our lives we definitely need to let go then move forward. i myself have experienced that just last week and honestly, it felt real good but then again, thinking about it, when i bid goodbye at that moment, it felt like its choking me to death… its like a thousand knives piercing through my heart and the realization that for half a decade, i stick to it like a gum and now i’m finally letting it go… man, it was hard… but how did i do it? how the hell was i able to pull it through then put myself together? thinking of it i guess, i just understood that time that the best thing to do (for the benefit of me) is to let go and say goodbye… seeing myself, wounded & hurt for so long, i guess that made me let go… ergo, the key is for us to understand to the best of our abilities that saying goodbye is the best thing to do… it’ll help us improve ourselves and our lives…

so putting everything into context of what will happen the following weeks and months, i guess i should be thinking that this will be for the good of everyone… though i’m not really that close to the one leaving, i can still feel the void… not seeing that person everyday & not making my life as miserable as hell, that’ll be a big change… again, let’s think that it’ll be for everybody’s benefit… =)

ayan, i think next time i’ll be saying goodbye, it’ll be as easy as breathing… =)

laugh trip…

i should get better hold of my “funny” self… this laughing and smiling alone thing is getting out of hand!!! hehehehehe… not that i’m complaining but when people see you laughing or giggling and smiling from ear to ear alone, they’ll think you’re crazy!!! nevertheless, i’m so loving this new me… =)

ok on my way back to my office, i saw several stuff that had me laughing on my witts… first is a boy who had a love affair with hotdogs! there was this boy in our cafeteria who, i swear, looooovveesss eating hotdogs. he had two jumbo hotdogs stuffed inside his mouth and another one he’s holding on his right hand… eating much!? hehehehe… then while i was walking out of the cafeteria to the convenience store located inside our building, i saw this bunch of college students giddy taking their pictures on a blank wall near umagang kay ganda studio! i couldn’t help but smile because it’s like a flashback, my past unfolding right in front of me, i was reminded how naive i was back then during my college days, even more giddy than these kids. i remember me & my barkada gate-crashed here in abs-cbn one time, without appointment to whomever, all for getting a close-up look and interview with various news anchors… hehehehe… miss the good ‘ole days when i’m not jaded as i am now… then lastly, i saw this gay, making funny gestures and comments near the stalls in our mini tiangge… when i looked closely, the gay very much resembled Pokwang!!! speaking of really funny stuff! hehehehehe… =)

then it just happened!!! =)

for the first time in years, i can finally feel my heart beating again… i can finally feel air in my lungs… my head is clear as a crystal….

for the first time in almost a decade, i can smile on my own again… enjoy doing things on my own, not minding if i’m with someone or not… now i can watch & enjoy movies alone or watch tv alone, be able to laugh out loud, stroll the mall alone, enjoy eating on my own… its safe to say that i’m well on my way to recovery… acceptance sinked in then realization that its really not meant to be… that i’m not happy with him anymore as much as i used to be… i’m not looking forward to seeing him, hearing his voice on the phone or reading text messages from him… now it doesn’t even make sense why i had to be there for him all the time & why i love doing favors for him… i’m not his mom, i’m not his sister, or even his house-help… i am his friend and asking me to do stuff for him, do this and that, is way too much and out of my league… i cannot feel the spark anymore when we’re together, his charms has no effect on me and our chemistry is not there anymore… now he’s just another guy friend to me, nothing more, nothing less…

after a decade, i am alive again… free and eager to explore the world… with a smile on my face, i can go out to the world and tell everybody i’m ready to fall in love again… =)

i’m so loving this new found freedom… and i have so many people to extend my thanks to… to my ever supporting barkada; bong, gerry, mami kat, charm, sheila, chellay, isis, joseph… thanks for putting up with me after all this years of whining & drama… without you guys, i couldn’t make it out alive… thanks and you know i love you all guys! =)